A provocative headline on the July/August cover of The Atlantic trumpeted, “Why Women Still Can’t Have it All.” The article, by Anne-Marie Slaughter, a 53-year-old former State Department official and mother of two, reopened an old argument—is it possible for women to be successful professionally and still raise families? Or is work/life balance a myth? Slaughter comes down strongly on the side of the latter—even for women who have the means to hire their own help.

The article immediately went viral and sparked a widespread debate at family dinner tables, around the blogosphere, and in offices—including SSATB’s. Five of my friends forwarded the article, all wondering about MY answer to the proverbial question.

It’s no secret that a high proportion of directors of admission are female—just over 78 percent, according to NAIS statistics. We also know that the admission job has become increasingly complex in recent years. There’s no longer such a thing as a family-friendly “summer off,” and few schools have significant down time in admission during June, July and August. Fueled by technology and new marketing and outreach demands, admission is speeding toward being a 24/7, 365-day-a-year profession (watch for a special report from SSATB coming soon, entitled The Evolution of the Independent School Admission Professional).

So, in the context of our independent school community, I want to know -- do you believe that women admission professionals can have it all? And what does “having it all” mean? What choices and trade-offs do we have to make to approach work/life balance in such a demanding profession? What about female heads of school? In 2012, is the gender difference really that pronounced, or does this issue resonate equally with men as well as women?

From a personal standpoint, I am lucky when comes to my professional career. My daughter is about to begin high school and for all of her life, I’ve had a husband who was not only willing to help, but who took great satisfaction from keeping much of our home life well managed. I have only one child, and members of our extended families have been supportive whenever my husband and I needed to travel for business. I know that it’s an incredible luxury to have those support systems in place, and I’m grateful because, I (for one) have experienced deep personal satisfaction from my professional life. But there have been, and will continue to be, trade-offs for many aspiring female leaders, which is why the Atlantic article touched such a nerve.

Back in 1997 when I became a parent, I asked my colleague Kathleen Hanson (now a senior consultant with Marts & Lundy, and trustee for SSATB) how she handled the balance of work and life. At that time, Kathy was a senior admission director who ran an annual national workshop on marketing. “You have to let go of perfection,” she wisely told me. “And you have to rely more heavily on your partner to co-manage home issues.” Betty Ann Workman, an NAIS colleague in the 1990s, advised me, “Let sleeping babies lie. Don’t fuss!” As both a perfectionist and a chronic fusser, it was difficult to follow those pieces of advice—but they proved to be critical to creating “balance” in my life. Educator and school leader Marcia Prewitt Spiller (who recently completed her term as the NAIS board chair and just joined SSATB’s trustee group) told me recently that her secret to better balance was hiring additional support for managing home issues, so that there were not projects waiting when her professional day came to a close. “You have to compromise on some things to get balance in your life and, for me, it was important to spend discretionary time with my family… not cleaning the house!”

I believe that the question, “Can women have it all?” assumes an unreasonable standard of success on both fronts. With the help of many wise female leaders before me, I have redefined the notion of success for myself and for me, part of being successful is slaying preconceived notions surrounding a “perfect” home and a “perfect” job. Many female professionals whom I have known over the years agree with the fact that we need to redefine the question itself, and understand that every leader creates her own nuanced answer to that question, making it work for her life.

The 2009 NAIS report entitled “Independent School Leadership: A Gendered Experience” noted that only 31 percent of NAIS school heads are women. This was true in spite of the fact that there were many women in the pipeline, who were successfully holding down important administrative positions at their schools. There has been speculation that independent schools don’t see high numbers of women in headship, because women are more likely than men to sacrifice ambition in order to seek a healthy work/life balance. For many women, the rewards of headship just don’t outweigh the negatives of career choices which require 24/7 focus and commitment year round.

The work/life balance question is one that admission leaders—both women and men—must wrestle with as we strive to “professionalize the profession.” The evolving work of enrollment management creates demands that are tactical, operational and strategic for anyone directing their admission operation on a daily basis. What tips do you have (as a man or a woman) in finding work/life balance as you play an increasingly important leadership role at your school? Can you have it all? (Do you want to have it all?) What tried and true tips can you offer to others who are seeking a balance in their professional and personal lives? Please leave your comments (see below) so we can share your wisdom with others in our profession.

As for those of us at SSATB (2/3 women in our office), we’re busy getting tests ready for the year ahead, updating technology, managing survey development, thinking about your next Memberanda, and onboarding new staff, among many other things, but we’re also determined to get some down time before the new academic year begins. May you all enjoy some R & R and time in the sun, in spite of equally busy schedules in your offices.